Setting with the Sun

"Sun, please give me a ride for just 2 hours. I really want to see him."

If only I could say it to the Sun..

Shed the tears away, have a little faith.

Having faith in someone is hard. It may take years. But losing that faith is even harder. Cause I believe that years of knowing that someone is long enough for building invulnerable core of the trust. I know that my faith in someone is being tested. Yes, I do admit that initially I felt doubt, uncertain and like betrayed. And being far away from home, it just like makes thing worse. I felt so alone, like being ignored and like I wanna do reckless things. At this time, I felt so close to Allah. There's might be no one beside me, but I know that He's always there. I pray for the best and to show me the right way. With that little faith, I shed the tears and chose to confront instead of trusting other people or digging the truth if I want. Because I have encountered so many obstacles, cried so many pains and learnt so many things along this way. I just hate to let that little bug ruins every single blooming flowers. It's just too unfair to totally believe in what people say without giving a chance for the person to defend her/himself. So, I just follow my

heart and I'm pretty sure that was the best thing to do. I'm hoping that this happened for some unpredictable good reason that will come at the right time.

p/s: I believe in fate, and to Him I rely on. Please give me the strength.

Same, old pain..

I really can't think of what should I do. Do I have to believe on what they say? Should I just ignore and pretend that I've never heard anything? But the pain is just hardly to be ignored. I really don't know what to do :'(

collecting jar of words

Hey people. Its been a while right, how's it going? I wasn't feeling so well last week, so the driving force for writing in here was ZERO. And now, I feel like writing again, cause this is the only thing that keep me alive and wake me up from this long long sleep. Haven't written for these few days was long enough for making me feels like DEAD. Actually I can't believe it myself, probably because I never take writing blog very seriously. But after all, I might re-think that writing is actually something that instead of just for fun and maybe a way for keeping my friends up to date with what's going on in me, it is something that refreshing my mind and may be I can say as a way of conveying my feelings and ideas. Then, there's a feeling, a positive one, that comes when I click on the 'publish post' button. It's kind of satisfaction or relief I guess. Yeah. Correct. Now I'm falling in love with writing! haha.. freak!

The first thing that I was hoping for when I arrived in Australia was, I don't wanna get sick. So, I made the first two weeks up with very excellent health, though my room mate got flu, my antibody done a great job killing those antigens. However, when all people in the house started to get infected, means that the antigens were now growing into a huge strong group of army soldiers until my antibody were lost in the battle field. So, I sickly sick and lab works were crap cause my head had been spinning like 13000rpm at 4deg. But alhamdulillah, now I'm getting better cause I took the pills. Yeay! For the first time in my life, I took the medicine without hesitate. (p/s: that will only happen if I am in the other continent, far from family + don't wanna waste dollars on hospital bill).

Been tested with sickness actually makes me realize that I own nothing in this world. And because of that, it makes me think and think, am I grateful enough for the gifts that have been showered to me? Sometimes there are times that I don't actually think, or remember all that I have ain't actually mine. But when one of them is taken, even for a sec, then we'll naturally be waken up. That's the beauty of Allah's way of testing us, not to make us suffer instead to wake us up and obviously shows that He loves us. I'm grateful that I'm a muslim, because we know what is our ultimate aim. And when we are suddenly off the right path, He will show us the way. Only it will depend on us, ignore the sign, then you will be astray.

p/s: love the barakah of Ramadhan.