Blow the sadness away

I never give so much thought of me going places and seeing spectacular scenery like on the desktop wallpapers, posters and tv. Never dream of that though. Well, just couple of days ago I went to the most magnificent place that I have ever been in my life. It is called the Great Ocean Road, a 243 km stretch of road along the south-eastern coast of Australia. No words can describe how stunning the scenery, how beautiful the earth, and ultimately how great the Creator is. Throughout the drive, I saw a lot of things that I have never seen before and somehow I was lost in my own thought, feeling like I was in a fantasy world. And being close to the nature, I feel strangely calm and peace. Because all creatures always praising Allah, we'll absolutely feel very peaceful when being around them. Feeding the parrots, seeing the cute sleepyhead koala, feeling the freezing-cold breeze blowing through my face and blowing the sadness away (how I wish it will be blown off forever) ans witnessing the live breathtaking scenery like a really large painting on a canvas, it was a priceless experience.

p/s: hoping for a piece of rainbow after a long rainy day.

I really want to go home :(

Is it wrong to hate myself? Because that is what I've been feeling these days. I don't know whether that's a normal feeling. I hate myself for being so stupid, I feel like I don't know a thing. I'm asking too much, each works need to be guided, I work very slow, and always doing mistakes. I feel really dumb. Even I had been trained, I still can't remember to do it myself, I'm too dependent, and I hate being that kind of person. I'm stressed out in that lab, I have no friends, I don't know how to start a conversation, I don't know how to respond, I know nothing! I smile but crying inside. I want to go home badly. I don't wanna be here anymore :(