Summit

When I watched the film Everest, first thing that came to my mind was, what kind of fool were those people risking their lives to be on the highest summit for just not more than one hour. But then, I think I am no different than those mountaineers. Now I understand, the moment we acquire what we are fighting for, it is worth a thousand battles that we have fought for it. No wonder why so many mountaineers aimed to conquer all the seven summits although they are putting the lives at stakes, because the feeling of satisfaction is so addictive.

Alhamdulillah, I am very grateful for this blessing, for this feeling. This is the mountain I climb. The climb was never easy. The journey was too long. Sometimes in the middle, I felt I would never get to reach the top. I wanted to go back and choose a different road. I felt incapable. I felt too small and the peak was too high. I stumbled. I bled. I broke my leg. But all those pains were washed away the moment I reached the peak. I know I would have never been this strong if my journey was easy. This journey has taught me the meaning of patience and perseverance. This journey has grown me up. This journey has brought so many wonderful people to my life that stand together with me. This journey has taught me life lessons to prepare me in the future. All sweats, tears and bloods are paid off. This is the moment of my life that I would always proud of. A story that I would proudly tell my children, my grandchildren and great grandchildren, if Allah grants me with a long life.

PhD convocation, April 23, 2016, UTM

Sad end

There she goes again. Throwing herself from the cliff, with arms wide open. It's not like she doesn't remember the pain when her body hits the water. She knows, the pain is like having every piece of bones in her body cracked at the same time. But she is just being her. The same her. She wants to get rid of that feeling. She is trying all her might. But how could someone forget a thing, when they have to face it everyday. Even they don't face it everyday, how could someone ever erase a feeling? She could only pray that God will make the feeling dissappear.

She doesn't know what she did wrong to deserve this punishment. Her hopes are all gone. She wants to run away. She doesn't belong to that place anymore. She feels left out. The feeling when people surrounding you are making a distance with you. Then, there must be something wrong with yourself.

The only hope for her, is leaving that place cause she has been there for too long. All people she trusts have long been away from her. She has no one now. And that ground now seems like sick of her existence.

She has been wondering, one day, the day she would suddenly dissappear, no one would ever care. Because people go on with their life. That's how cruel life is.

Attached

Some day, may be soon, I have to leave this beautiful place and those beautiful people. This comfort zone is really a wonderful place, but they say nothing ever grows here. Leaving for a new surrounding excites me but at the same time, I know that I will never find a place like here again.

When you know the time you have to leave is approaching, you are juggling with these two things.

First, spending more time with people around you, be closer to them and create good memories. Second, you create some distance with them so that when the time comes, you would not hurt much.

Surreal

I always love September. But this year, September was kind of bittersweet.

First, I have finally submitted my thesis. It feels like I have taken off a tonne-weight of backpack that I have been carrying on my shoulder all along these five years of journey. No. It is more than that, I couldn't find a word to describe that feeling. Relief but tired at the same time. And it is surreal. I can't believe that finally I reached this point. A point that only existed in my dream all these while. Second, the emptiness. I feel empty. Like all these while my life has been revolved around this 'deep well'. I was trying every single way existed to climb the well, and now finally I'm out. Then like a pair of eyes that meet the first light after sleep, it is too bright that it can't see anything but white. I don't know what to do next or where to go. Third, I feel like I missed myself for these five years. Where have I been? I communicated, I did things with people, but actually it was only my body doing the job. Apparently, my soul was isolated from the whole world. I have been avoiding people, I shut the door up to any people that come and knock, except for the people that I really trust. And now I feel friendless.

Then, I have said the words that once I left unsaid. I used to believe that what I feel was not true. I have tried to deny it. I have tried to run away from it. I have tried to not thinking about it, pretending that I don't care. Or tried to make other distraction. But only I realized that feelings never lie. It came closer the farther I run away from it. Until it tore my heart open. I never thought I would get the strength to say it. I did thing that I never did in my whole life. I couldn't hide it anymore. I put down my ego and be the first to say it, although I realize the possible consequences. But I know for sure that I will never regret embracing this feeling.

And thank you.

Yes, you.

Second chance

Weariness crept in. The muscles in my whole body started aching, the effects of my routine Saturday morning swimming. My head was heavy. I could barely open my eyes. In no time, I fell asleep. The azan calling for Asar prayer woke me up, but I decided to take a little more sleep. Then, I woke up. It's already Maghrib. I felt so regret because I did not wake up straight away when hearing the azan. I missed my Asar prayer. I felt so bad. Suddenly I saw myself, leaned by the bed, staring at me with unblinking eyes. I stared back at myself. I thought it was my reflection. I yelled at it, I hate you! Three times. I pushed its head with my index finger. I could touch it! Wait! I thought it was just a reflection. Something was wrong. I hugged it very tight, tried to pull it back inside me, or pushed myself inside that thing. I failed. It was still there. My eyes started to fill with tears. No, it couldn't be. I missed my Asar prayer. I was not ready. I tried to lift it and hug it again. Please, merged with me. It fell on the floor. I tried to ignore. Pretended that nothing had happened. I walked to the door, I wanted to perform ablution for Maghrib prayer. I was still in denial that the body laid on the floor was me. I wasn't ready. Please!! Help me!! I wasn't ready.

Then I woke up. It was still Asar. Allah.... thanks, it was only a dream. T_T

Bold

A wound could always be healed, but a scar would never fade. So, that scar is bleeding again. I just knew that this moment will come. I have prepared myself for this, but it's not that easy. Although I have never placed any hope anymore, this heart is still shattered. Broken, loser, that is how I feel I am. But I know Allah is conveying His message. I'm grateful to Him for showing me this. And now I feel bold with my own feeling. No more doubt that I have to let go off the past. It is not meant to be, it never was.

p/s: where is my Ron..

Unspoken word

Hey. Do you know how much I like you?

Betrayal

"Walaupun kau bukan kekasih, namun bukan sekadar teman biasa, hadirmu..." Antara cinta dan kasih, Aishah.

The bright light from the window has woken her up. No different from her other ordinary weekends, she only get up from bed to the heat and light of the Sun. Like most of her Saturday mornings, she went to the pool first thing after waking up for a long bath, besides swimming. She never learnt that swimming at this hour would only burn her skin and leave freckles. But that's the only way for her to escape everything, except sleeping. If only human could live in the water, she will absolutely build a home underwater. She feels strangely calm in the water. Indescribable peace of mind that couldn't be interrupted.

Those words were like a blade. Her respect and friendship has been returned by a treason. They are being hated for a crime they don't commit. A crime that is happening only in their hearts, thoughts and dreams, how could it be judged. And even if they really do, it could never be called a crime. This has been bothering her, even she has been dreaming about it. She laid on the water surface, hoping that the thoughts will go away. She let her body float and drifted by the water flow. She couldn't hear anything except her own heartbeat. Fast. Maybe from the swimming, but very sedative it could lull her to sleep. Pacifying as if it was the most beautiful sound in the world. And right above her, the ocean of the sky and the scattered clouds. She could see a bird flying freely, then with its flock. The longer she gazed, the more they were coming. Flying right before her eyes as if they were dancing to the song of her heartbeat. She lost in this beautiful moment. The thoughts have vanished like it never step in her mind. Laying like this, she realized how small and how fragile she is. A creation called human. Like how the water could hold her body from drowning, how the clouds are floating in the sky, and how the birds are flying in the air against the gravity, that is how Allah is holding her life. The test she has been facing in her life, is no smaller than a tiny dust in the entire universe. It is nothing than that one day it would make her stronger, because it has been perfectly written by her Creator without a fault. And now she knows that they will go through this together one day, leave it all behind and never take a single glance back.

Stagnant

She curled up on the road she decided to travel a long time ago. Despite the miles of distance she had walked, her pace is getting shorter, slower. Her feet are becoming weaker. She can now see where the path leads her to. Crystal clear. Unlike before when the future was hidden by a thick fog. Yet it seems so far to her eyes. Something is holding her back. She once used to think that the path she has chosen was right, the less traveled path. She used to believe in herself that she could go through the obstacles. Yes, she has gone through that. This journey has torn her clothes, fouled her, bleed her, broken her leg, until the scars made her appear like she has no more fears on everything. But now, she is fatigued, too tired to move on. Everyone has gone, too far for her to catch. But she is stationary, as if she is standing still on a busy road, gazing aimlessly forward, while people are busy walking yet all she could do is staring in blank. She is afraid to walk this path alone. She is waiting for a hand, that at least would pat on her back. Or a strong hand that would push her from behind, so she could move again. Or someone that would hold her hand and lead her steps till the end. Or perhaps just a little voice that would whisper, 'get up dear! you have to move on!' Just that. Only that.

Pencuri

Someone said to her, if you really love someone, you don't expect anything from that person in return. She has chosen that way. Despite everything that had happened to her in the past, She couldn't help but giving herself another chance. When she made that decision, she realized the consequences that she might  face. She have tried her best to not putting so much hope and not expecting to much. But it was hard. Day by day, she was starting to forget all that. Her hope, her expectation on it, was growing like nothing can ever stop it. When something really happened, she felt so terrible, even the simple things. But she know she doesn't even has the rights to feel like that. Because it doesn't even exist. It is something she created in her mind and in her dreams.

Getaway

There was one day, that I felt like going far away. Off from reality that sometimes makes life too hard. I felt like getting away from people I know. Just me surrounded by complete strangers, getting lost and finding way back. But it would be too challenging if I escaped alone because my sense of direction is totally hopeless. I would end up lost and never find way back. So I need a travel partner. Though her sense of direction just as the same level as me, maybe just a little bit better than me, but at least we lost together. Lol! It was actually Kak Tim's idea for the getaway. And it seemed like I need a getaway too. So here we go, Singapore!

Actually, it was like an impromptu trip. We didn't really research too much about Singapore and we didn't even have specific location to go. We were just the two backpackers, travelling on buses and trains, seeing people and places, trying their food and taking lots of photos. We first headed to Orchard Road.

Orchard Road

Where we had our lunch.

Then we headed to Bugis Junction (like the Petaling Street in Malaysia). We were looking for a Masjid here when we stumbled upon a sweet girl (a Muslim) that was on her way to her school. She offered us to follow her to her school's musolla. She's a fashion design student and it was my first time going to art school and I really like the building concept.

Bugis Junction and the art school

Then we went to the Vivocity at Harbour Front cause Kak Tim wanted to eat the Max Brenner's chocolate. We ordered a glass of chocolate hazelnut milkshake and a large plate for sharing and had so much trouble finishing it all. But it was a very worth of try for a chocolate lover. The milkshake was so thick, creamy and rich in flavour. And the chocolate dip was super delicious!

The Max Brenner's.

The China Town. I don't remember how we got here. I think we were lost. Hahaha.

The Harbour Front.

The Harbour Front was our last place. After eating chocolate we went to Masjid for prayer. Alhamdulillah, though it was actually quite hard to find a prayer room, but it seemed like Allah had showed us the way. First we met the Muslim girl, then at the Harbour Front I thought the worst case I have to pray under the stairs. Then it turned out that there was a Masjid just about a walking distance from the Vivocity.

This whole Singapore visit is a total new experience to me. Like expected, we have lost, found way back, took a lot of selfies (lol!), walked by the company strangers. We left all our problems behind, laughed, talked and laughed again. Actually I got a call from my supervisor, and decided to ignore it. Haha! And we learnt the struggle experienced by the Muslim community here. The prayer room at the art school was actually just a very small compartment at the basement that can accommodate less than 10 people at a time, with the horrible large strands of electrical wiring with a 'Danger' sign on the ceiling. Can you imagine that? And a Mak Cik from the Vivocity said every day she just performs her prayer under the stairs because the mall didn't provide a prayer room. And I felt so blessed living in my country, we're so comfortable yet still forget to be grateful. Thanks for this feeling, Allah.

p/s: just so you know, my travel partner is single. She's a PhD holder, currently a lecturer. If you're interested leave a comment :p

p/s2: kak tim, ampunkan saya!

Letter

I have been writing to my best friend, Fizah through e-mails these few weeks because she's now in Japan. She wrote me first because at the first place she wanted me to check on her English. So we have been changing few e-mails. Somehow at this point, I'm becoming in love with writing to her because first, we don't have time for gossiping like the old days anymore because she's way too far. Second, there's more and more confessions are being made like why I did that to her and why she did that to me back then before she got married and moved to Japan. And that was really interesting. Third, it inspires me to write in this blog again (after the long silence). So I would love to share one of my e-mails to her (she would kill me if I show you what she wrote me..hehe). Just to remind myself too, that when the time comes where I need advice, I would come here again and see the words I have written to someone before, because I might need it for myself.

Waalaikummussalam nenek,

Unfortunately i dont like dark chocolate but milk chocolate also counts right?

 

I'm glad that you have come to your right mind now. So, somebody has got a fossil watch, damn i feel like i wanna have a husband too. hahaha.. i know that feeling when your friend is ahead of you on something. it happened to me on the day you told me that you're getting married and back then i was just being dumped by that jerk. sorry about that. i know i have been too mean by showing 'stone' face to you, because honestly, i just can't even smile at that time. i'm so jealous of you. you just came at the wrong time, the time when my heart was being crushed to pieces and eaten by cat (haha that is too hyperbola). anyway, i was still feeling guilty about that, i'm sorryyy. i didnt mean to, i swear. you know, after that, i knew you were very mad at me. and you never tell me anything about your wedding anymore. i felt sad, and i regretted that i have done that to you. but i'm very bad at apologizing, i'm sorry. as a friend, off course i want to know everything about it, how your husband finally decided to marry you, your wedding planning, and all that small stuffs. but that's okay, i didnt blame you if you didnt want to tell me anything because that was the price i have to pay for hurting you at the first place. huhuhu. 

so the point is, in our lives, we all see other people's successful and happiness. off course the jealous feeling is inevitable, but it doesn't mean that we have to locked out ourselves in a room, think about people's achievement, then feel that we are nothing compared to them. make it as inspiration, and take action for ourselves. don't just think that you don't have what other people have but instead remember that there is something in you that other people don't have.

i just finished reading 127 hours, a true story where aron ralston had to make a hard choice by cutting his own hand after being trapped and crushed by a very large stone for 5 day without food or water. i think you should read that. i can give it to you when you come home later. the story is very inspiring. it teaches me that no matter what happened in our life, even if it is the door to your death, dont ever give up. keep trying even if it means making a hard choice and leaving it in the past. because 'saying farewell is also a bold and powerful beginning' (aron ralston).

Have a nice day friend,

Hasma.

Bilik kecik, lab atas bukit.

p/s: I miss how we used to sing 'come on barbie, let's go buddy, ah ah ah yeah'  when we wanted to go somewhere.. hahaha..

Fear

She’s been doing a lot of thinking these days. Drown in her own river of thoughts that sometimes she lost her breath, suffocated. And that’s when she hardly had any sleep.  It has been approaching a year, unbelievably. She has lost her sense of hope since that day. She has promised herself that she would stop expecting too high on people. But being herself, it isn't easy. She trusts people easily, loves people too easily, that’s in her gene. So when she did, she didn't realized that she started to expect more and more. Till it cut right on her eye, and bled in her heart. Then she realized that she hasn't kept her promise all this while. Then she realized that she has been expecting too high. Was it too late now for her to go back on the empty, hopeless path that she has promised herself to walk through till the end? Because now she found the current trail is too appealing, irresistibly attractive. Yet she’s afraid, too afraid that the path would again lead her to same high cliff once she used to fall off..

Sweet September

They say good things take time, but great things happen in a blink of an eye. Alhamdulillah. September is being so nice to me. I always love September. Despite it is the month of my birth day, lots of good things happen too.  I know some people won't believe me if I say that I'm quite a daydreamer. Yes.. I really am. So, on the day that my lab mates bought me a cake, I was actually had an imagination beforehand, that I would be the happiest person on Earth if they bought me a cake when we were having raya dinner at Kak Shal's place. But I thought I could only dream it because there would be a lot of other people too and there would be lots of food. But when the cake came out, it was just like a dream come true. I swear my heartbeat stopped for a few seconds and when I woke up the cake was already in front of me. I had no idea when or how it traveled. Lol!

Then, my friend Anis came way from the North. So when girls meet up, the world is ours. It was great to catch up. We hung out, window shopped, watched movie, went to lots of places and brought up all the memories during our undergrad school. It has been four years unbelievably, yet it feels like yesterday we went to the classes together and took exams.

And guess what, I have found Manja! And omg omg shockingly with her four kittens! I was really really grateful because all this while I have been praying to God to keep Manja save (okay feel free to laugh now, I won't be offended). And I'm totally impressed as she was able to rise her kittens healthily and they are playfully cute! Subhanallah!

And this week I got another surprise. A birthday present flew all the way from Japan! It was a Fossil watch. I love you Fizah! I swear I'm gonna cry when I opened it. I was actually feeling guilty because I have been busy lately. And I have less time chatting with her, then I feel like I'm a bad friend. I wanna buy a plane ticket to Japan right now!!! Huuuu... Actually it came at the right time cause currently all my watches' batteries were dead. Lol. Arigato gozaimas Fizah!!

Well apparently, I was like actually thinking, why all these great things happened at once. I couldn't take it anymore (okay this is tipu.. hee..). Indeed great things happen when you least expect it. Alhamdulillah, I feel so grateful for this great feeling, for having damn good people surround me. I pray that we will always be blessed, and this bond will never be broken. May Allah guide us all to Jannah :)

 

p/s: don't wake me up when September ends. September please don't leave.

The bosom buddies

I feel lucky to have a circle of people who always be so kind and sweet to me. They are the reasons I smile. The reasons for me to get on with life when I'm at the very deep bottom. The reasons for me to keep walking in this difficult path of my life because I know they are always there behind me. The reasons I treasure friendship more than ever.

p/s: They got me a birthday cake! Thanks guys. It did surprise me, I didn't expect it to come really. That was really sweet of you guys and I couldn't stop smiling :)

(credit picture to kimi)

25

What I love about birthday:

1. Mother's prayer is the first thing I love to hear.
2. Waiting for who is gonna be the first person wishing me 'Happy Birthday'.
3. People wishes and prayers really make my day. It shows that lots of people care for you isn't it?
4. When I don't allow Facebook to remind my friends when my birthday is, there are still few friends wish 'Happy Birthday'. That's really sweet. It reminds me that when someone really care for you, they don't need anything to remind them.
5. Birthday never just an ordinary day. Even how much you want to pretend it to be, it will always come to mind that today is a special day for you.
6. Perhaps when lots of people pray for you, you will feel blessed. And you will be going through the day with no difficulties, works seems easier, time seems to move slow and it will be the most productive day in your life.
7. When the sun is about to set, you will finally realized the special day would end soon and if only you could stop the time, you would not let it ends.

Yes, it was a great day. Even without cakes or presents.
Happy 25th birthday to me!

Wish I have this..

..or this! ^^,

My personal brand of heroins

One, that guilty pleasure is now truthful, which once I'm afraid that it will really happen. It is like my personal brand of heroin now. Enough to make me restless if I don't have it for a day, yet painful if I have it too much.

Two, pleasure that kills. Bonding with stray cats. Cats always make my day. I love to give them food. But when they're gone, or I couldn't feed them, I'm so sad that I could cry a river. I had a cat once. The first day I saw her, she was dirty. She was wandering along my lab's corridor. She is so pretty and manja so we called her Manja. I fed her everyday until she hovered and wouldn't go away. She gave birth to two cute and playful kittens, Bulat and Sepet. I started to worry when the kittens started pooping everywhere. I knew then one day they have to be transferred to some other place. And the day came. I took them to the college where I stay so that I could keep feeding them. I could see on their faces that they were really scared, been in the place that was foreign. Manja started to ignore her kittens. On the second day, I couldn't see Sepet anymore. That night I cried pretty hard that I woke up with puffy eyes. I couldn't stop myself from feeling angry to people who made me to, but most of all I couldn't stop blaming myself. I think I was crazy. So I wrote a letter to myself.



Dear Hasmaliana,
Remember that not all people around you are like you. You could love cats like they are your own kids but not others. Don't expect people to be like you. You live in a society, please be considerate. Sepet may left for good. Maybe someone has adopted him. He will live a better life with his new owner, have faith in that. It's ok to cry, you know you always cry for cats. You are not crazy, it is normal for a cat lover. They have a special bonding with cats. Don't blame yourself for throwing them out. They sure can survive. They are predators in nature. It's in their gene. Don't worry too much dear, Allah will keep them safe. He's The Most Gracious to His creatures, He won't let them hungry. They need to learn, explore new place, how to protect themselves. It's good for them. Cry as much as you want. When you feel better, don't stop feeding stray cats. Remember that you want to build a cat shelter one day, it's in your bucket list. Go for it!



The other day, I found Bulat alone, separated from Manja. She was lost and cried with terror. I took her, cleaned her fur, calmed her down and brought her back to her mother. But it didn't last. I didn't see her with Manja anymore because Manja was still in shock. She didn't care about her kittens anymore. Then I never saw Bulat again.

I write this entry because I miss Manja so much. I kept this story to myself before, because I was too sad  to tell people. Last time I saw her was before I went back home for Eid. She was actually pregnant again and already gave birth to kittens that I never saw, being so protective mother she is. I never see her after coming back here. The only thing I could do is just praying that Allah will keep her safe :(

p/s: Please stop throwing away and abandoning your cats. If only they can speak, you will know how hard they are crying.

Treasure

There were a few times that I opened up the new post page, stare at it for a few seconds and then closed it because I decided that the thing I had in mind at that time was too personal to be written in the blog. Because I always forget things and I would like myself to one day remember that moment, so I wrote them in my private diary. It's just like I am getting ready for an Alzheimer. But off course I wouldn't want that. It's just that I'm afraid of not remembering those memories so better lock it in a diary or something. I'm working on a photo album too, just bought one and will fill in photos or movie tickets or receipts or anything that comes up with stories. Yeah, I'm treasuring my present life more than before. That's why the idea came up.

So fasting was great this year. I never feel so peaceful in my previous Ramadhans. Alhamdulillah. Because after it left, I can feel the difference. It's hard actually to focus on your prayer and consistently read the Quran at least a 'Juz' a day in months other than Ramadhan. I wish that was not my last one. And I had a few days to spend Ramadhan with my family too which I haven't had quite a long time that I couldn't remember how it feels like. And off course it feels like a heaven. Then, Eid was great too. I made cookies for the first time and Mak approved that all my cookies taste delicious (happy face!). Oh, and we had our family portrait for the first time I can't believe it. Because one, it's not really our family tradition, two, last year Abah never showed up after the Eid's prayer until afternoon because he went straight visiting his friends and three Abah did not really kind of enjoy or appreciate photography. But He do now. So there you go, family portrait!

And that is our new-born Naura Tihani.

I had quite a long holiday this time and I had a chance to see my childhood friends which I haven't seen for like 13 years. It feels so good catching up with them. Then I attended a few engagement ceremonies of my cousins and friend where people kept asking when's your turn or when will you finish study. I'm sick of those questions but I know I couldn't shut their mouth up. So I'm back now in the lab, and I promise the next time I'm back home I will say a different answer for that question. Miahaha.. 

p/s: I want to finish lab work in December. Pray for me guys please!

p/s2: Lets just keep personal things personal. Yes sometimes it hurts to hide what you feel inside. It is like there's a large beautiful mouth watering cake in front of and you are trying so hard to hold yourself from eating it. But I'm not hundred percent sure of it either. I'm somewhat scared of finding out, yet at the same time I want to know more. Just let the time tell shall we?

Sueño - la secuela

I had found the dress I loved. But I decided not to rush things. Only then the next day I found that it was gone to someone else's hand. The only things left were the old-fashioned dresses. I regretted that. I should have quick and firm in making decision and believe in my own choice.

It was supposed to be a big day. But I was in denial. I didn't want to be at that place, do that thing. It's just that I have to, with no reasons I can remember of. I wanted to cry, but nobody seemed to care about my feeling. It was used to be my biggest hope not so long time ago, but now no more. It has now became the thing I'm most afraid of. Then things were like being fast forwarded and the last thing I knew, I was smiling contentedly. I didn't have to do it anymore. Those feeling was so real, like a bird being released from its cage. And the flock was waiting. Then it flew freely to its flock, to where it should belong.

I know dreams don't stay long. That was when I opened my eyes. It was five past four in the morning. My heart was pounding. I have never woken up from a dream where I could recall every single moments of it. And the feeling remained. I was like stupefied for a minute or less or more. What are all these mean? I don't know why, but I have a strong feeling that it was not just an ordinary dream.

My bucket list

I am 25 this year and I haven't made a bucket list. So, here we go. My bucket list:

1. Learn to play an instrument. I would love piano.
2. Master a new language besides English and Malay, visit the country and talk to the native speaker.
3. Get married and go honeymoon to one of the most beautiful island in the world.
4. Open a shelter for stray cats.
5. Get a PhD.
6. Buy a house with a mini library and huge wardrobe.
7. Perform Hajj and visit the land of the prophets.
8. Take my parents for Hajj.
9. Travel the world.
10. Take dancing lesson.
11. Camp in a jungle.
12. Try a business.
13. Go to a spa like a rich women.
14. Ride a hot air balloon.
15. Make and release a sky lantern.
16. Sleep under the star.
17. Sail on a yacht.
18. Play in the rain, or just enjoy standing in the rain.
19. Go skydiving.
20. Bake a cake.
21. Run a marathon.
22. Go ice-skating.
22. Experience weightlessness.
23. Gardening.
24. Do major renovation on my parents's house.
25. Try a niqab.
26. Design my own house and decoration.
27. Write a book.
28. Scream on top of a mountain.
29. Break a rule.
30. Kick negative habits.
31. Go hiking.

And I think the list will keep growing..