It's a life...

This is the most tiring week. I go to the lab as early as 7.30 in the morning and finish the works at 6.00 pm, and guess what, today I'm totally flat! Imagine working for about 12 hours, where sitting is just impossible because too many of works waiting, is this called a life? Yup, this is called a life of a PhD student..what? I can't imagine living continuously like this for 3 years!! Oh no, why today I just realize how hard the life is for a PhD student? Even I never thought of it when I decided to continue my study last year.

Sometimes, when I keep getting the negative results in experiments, and hearing that my senior's papers are kept rejected, (and including seeing my friends already graduated with masters..oh jelesnya!) it just brings me down. It's like someone has broken my heart to pieces and I don't know where to cry. (mcm putus cinta la pulak kan..hehe). But, when I remember all of Mak and Abah's advices, then I feel stronger. Thanks mom and dad for keep me alive. Calling mom is also a best remedy, though I never told her my story. I believe many of you will tell everything to your mom right, but me, I don't go that way. I don't know why, but I never tell my mom the problems I have faced. It's just I don't want her to worry about me. It's like I want to tell her that her daughter is ok and living her life happily.

So back to the so-called a PhD student's life, tomorrow I have lab's meeting and everyone have to present their progress report for the last 2 weeks. Actually I am in the middle of preparing my presentation slides, then suddenly out of nowhere, the idea comes and I feel like writing, maybe my brain just excited when the eyes are still opened at this moment of 3.00am, that it should be closed normally..I went flat on the bed after dinner just now, too tired, and when I wake up, it's still 12.00am. I'm so grateful that it's not Subuh yet, because I haven't prayed Isya' and prepared my presentation slides. So, till now, my brain and my eyes are still fresh. Well, I'm a night person. I can't remember when was the last time I stayed up at night and studying, it's been a while, maybe during my undergraduate studies. My routine was totally changed after doing postgraduate. Like my life has been reformatted. No more free time in the day, no more gossiping with friends at night and no more staying up late night studying, and I just miss that moment.

It's been quite a long time I haven't practicing study at night though I know that I'm a night person. Maybe because I have to go to lab early in the morning, and if I stay at night I will wake up late and end up with Fizah babbling in the morning or worse she will leave me..haha..that's happened actually. But, lately my supervisor always ask me, "have you read this journal?", and like always my answer is, "not yet Dr." huhu..It's a shame to answer like that actually. You have to be advanced than your supervisor, if you don't want them to think that you are not reading and you are not hardworking. So, if I can't study at night, then I have to use the time wisely during the lab. Maybe reading while waiting the sample to incubate.

So, this is my life, and I have to live it for the coming 3 years. Just hoping for the best, I want to finish up my study after 3 years. Yes, 3 years only, I promise to myself! (though I know it's hard..no..no..don't even think about it! I can do it.)

p/s: start feeling dizzy..haha..good night world..

p/s 2: oh no! I just deleted my last presentation slide unconsciously due to this dizziness..waaa....I really have to sleep right away..huhuhuhu..so stay up is totally a bad idea :(