Remorse

These days, I lost in my own world. I can't find my way back, and keep wandering alone in the empty, dark spaces, trying so hard to find the lights, but literally I am deeper, farther from the way out. I don't know what's wrong with me, seems that I am fighting with myself. I want to scream my heart out but my mouth seems glued. This feeling is totally different. I'm surrounded by people that I love but I can't feel our hearts are really connected. And finally it triggers this explosion.

How I wish I can go back in time and change it. This remorse is killing me. Everytime I think of it, I feel like a blade slides into every inch of my flesh. I shouldn't have said that. I should have investigated before jumping into conclusion. Now, it's far too late and nothing can be done to make it right. All I could think to comfort myself is, be patient and it will all get better in time.

Now, I understand the meaning of sacrifice. How hard it is on me, it's harder to see someone's hurt because of me.

p/s: You used to tell me that, but I didn't believe it until today. Thank you for being my crying shoulder. I can't be more grateful than having someone like you.