Not my comfort zone

It's raining heavily outside. I'm here alone in this lab, far away from my comfort world. At very this moment, I really want to meet the person that created a Malay quote 'hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik di negeri sendiri' or an English that invent the cliche 'home is where the heart is' because they are so wise.

On the first day, I was optimist. Confident enough that I can be very independent. Except that I was a little bit scared living in a double room in the hostel, that I read pages of Quran. Second day, maybe the room, the road, the lab and the trees have known me, so I felt safe and sound till I could do my routines at home (like wake up at 7.45 in the morning). Then I felt very bored like living in a prison. But, I lost the battle on the third day. I think I was being tested, suddenly the parking lot was full because there was an event in my hostel. The parking space is small so when it's full, there's no way I could make a u-turn. So when I was reversing my car, there was a car that had just came in. So I expected she will reverse too. But she was very selfish and I have to move to the side to let her through and my car was scratched! I pull down the window and said 'can you just reverse, my car has crashed the the drain divider' and I was very shock to hear her response. Arrogantly she said 'oh really?' and she got away! Not even a sorry! I was very mad, I was very sad and I cried looking for other place to park.

When that situation happens, you only need someone to talk to. The only one that I know is my car. I really wanted to sleep with him (I mean in the car) and cry all night if I just could. Yes, I was quite surprised too because I am happy when I drive him. Because I come here with him so he is the only friend that I got. I said  I miss you to him every morning, and I feel so bad for hurting him so I keep apologize. I don't know, this is happening naturally. Am I already mad? Is it a depression symptom? But I think God hears me. He always do indeed. He sent me a room mate actually. So, I'm quite happy that I am not a lonely girl anymore.

But living out of comfort zone can be a good thing. The lab will be the best place in the world. It is a place that I love to spend most of my day. And I want to finish the experiment badly that I never procrastinate in the lab. A two-weeks experiment at home can be done in just a week! So I'm hoping that this big sacrifice will return me a good data for my PhD. Purifier, please be good to me. I don't want to stay any longer.

Protein Instrumentation Lab, UKM. 22nd November 2012.