Tick tock

The moment will come in no time, and I feel nervous, wonder and kinda afraid when thinking of it. I have got too many things to do. Too much that finally I think that I wanna quit, do nothing and just let the time bring me to that day. The harder I chase those tons of works, the more mistakes I did and more hearts was hurt. In this situation, I realize how precious time is and 9 hours of working is now seems absurd. Right now, my mind is crowded with all the theories and strategies that come out of nowhere. It's so true that at moment of desperation, the idea will just come without me asking them to. But why come now, this late? I haven't got enough time to make action, even to think of it. How I wish that they appeared earlier and by now I can be smiling while waiting the day to come.

p/s: I feel isolated. Far from my family, even my friends. I feel empty, lonely. Is this just an illusion?

Waterfall barbeque

Yesterday, me and my lab mates went to waterfall at Gunung Ledang. We were having barbeque and playing and 'course shooting. That was fun! As an organizer (yeah, me, organizer), I felt super tired but I experienced great satisfaction cause after it had been planned for months ago, it's finally happened. Actually we're planning to have beach barbeque party but since we had have barbeque at Desaru last year, plus they said the sea water is muddy during this season, so finally we decided to have barbeque in the jungle beside the waterfall. Yet, there's still off course some complications. Like some which at first was very excited to go, but suddenly decided not to join for no reason, some didn't get permission from husband and some has to cancel at last minute. So, out of 13, only 10 persons could join the barbeque. It's ok K.Aizi and K.Atul, next time we'll arrange another vacation, more fascinating event, InsyaAllah :)

So, I decided that we began our journey as early as 7 in the morning. However, I'm so sorry guys that I couldn't get up early that morning as the result of staying up late at the night, preparing the food and marinating chicken. Actually, my head was messed up with things at the lab (I finished lab works at 7pm, but the results were crap again!!) and with that in mind I couldn't think straight. I over-cooked rice (I cook for 20 persons instead of 10) and I couldn't find 3 chickens cause it's already 10pm and most shops were out of stocks! I started to worry, and imagine what would happen with barbeque without chicken? And finally I could find it at the third shop (and they were the last stock that left, fuh!thank God!). So, I slept at 2pm after preparing all the foods. Consequently, we departed at 8am. That was the story. Really sorry to the 3 guys that woke up early and didn't have time to make up just to catch the time. Sorry sorry sorry :(

Along the way, I recovered my sleep to keep the stamina for climbing later. hehe.. We arrived at Gunung Ledang around 11am. We had to climb hundreds upon hundreds up stairs to get to the beautiful spot. If I'm not mistaken it took half an hour to reach the place (I don't really check the time because all I thought was when we could stop climbing!). With so many things to be brought along, I reckon we had lost thousands of calories.

We're sweating to death, yet I felt so fresh and I enjoyed it very much. The smells of nature and the sounds of jungle's creatures never fail to make me calm and peaceful. We stopped once at a hut to take a breath before continue the journey.

Then, we climbed again until we found second hut and we can't go higher anymore (cause already out of fuel). One of us checked up the higher spot which we could see more beautiful waterfall scenery but there's too many people there. So, we decided to stay where we were. Now the challenge was we have to go down the slope to get to the water. So we lined up along the slope and passed up the things that we brought. Problem solved! :)

The spot was quite strategic and private for having a barbeque. When we arrived, there was a couple but then we didn't even realize when they have gone, so the place was ours. Now, the task was to start the fire. It's quite challenging, we took quite a while to make the embers.

Then we started to grill the chicken. And I learned how to control the embers so that they won't produce fire. Initially, there's several moments where the fire's so big that it could burn out the chicken. However we managed to control it. From that I could learn a lesson, the fire can be similar to an anger. We can stop the fire as well as we can stop feeling angry to people when we know how to handle and control it. See, not just for having fun, this vacation can make us learn lots of things, if we use our precious brain to think wisely :)

After that, we filled up the lost energy, but unfortunately my fried rice that I prepared whole-heartedly last night had spoiled. At this moment I felt like I HATE YOU MICROBES! WHY YOU'RE EVER EXIST IN THIS WORLD!! But I can't blame them. They have to eat for live and without them I won't get my PhD. It's actually my own fault of wrong handling and storage. Therefore, all rice went to microbe's carbon source. I could imagine that they were having a real big family dinner tonight. Huh!

Then, we swam and played in the water. The water's sooo cooool! We're really having fun and it was all worth it to be sweating along the way up here! Enjoy the pictures :)

p/s: I love the nature, I love forest, I love trees and I love waterfall!

Having fun!

Again, I had given my boss another hope. And unfortunately, that was a fake one too. I didn't want to tell him until it was confirmed, really, but nothing seems can be hidden from him. He will know everything. Well, I hoped that the halo zones were produced by the active amylase too, but the chances of control producing the same halo zone is too high. Because I have been doing this work for months, and I can just predict from my experience. However, boss was too confident and the mountain-height-hope that was shown through his face make me too weak to refuse the result. And now, both disappointed! *sigh* :(

These were the halo zones. My bad, I didn't make the control. After this I'll remember forever, how important the control is, not only for the experiment but for not giving boss another hope again.

So, I worked on Saturday, repeated it with control as well as assay, and all I got was still crap. I think that I was getting used of obtaining negative results till I have no feeling anymore, sad or tense or whatever negative feeling is. And I'm not quite sure too, am I still normal being like this? Whatever it is, I want to relax this weekend and having a real rest, and reward myself. So, I bought 3 small fishes and keep them on my study desk. They're cute!

Gupy fish. They're colorful.

Then, I went to the Bridal Fair at Angsana with my housemates, Fizah and Bai, you know, girls night out. And there's runway show going on so we took the front seat! haha.. Actually that was my first time. What I can say is, the models must have a very high self esteem to show and pose in front of crowds and cameras (huh..what about me, during presentation. I think I should learn to build confidence from them).

From my angle.

After that, we headed to Bazaar JB. For almost 6 years I live in JB, that was my first time I came here. We really enjoyed ourself (with shopping off course). Got myself a dress, a shirt and a jacket. Love it! And also a flash light with presentation laser pointer (can't wait to use it for next presentation..hehe).

The best view of soap bubble I could capture. Bit challenging.

Then, we went back, sleep and the next morning, we're having girls day out too. We went to 2 places, JJ Bukit Indah and Tebrau City. Just having fun, hanging out, eating, shopping, and seeing people. At the end of the day, I couldn't feel my feet anymore. Blame the wedges!

Kenny Rogers for lunch. Yummy..

Bought myself an elegant accessory rack. Really love it!

And shoot in the toilet. Wondering why people doing this, so here we are..hee

p/s: Thanks Bai, Fizz and especially the driver, Yan. Thanks a lot. I'm having so much fun this weekend. And it make me miss the old good times with Anis :)

So far

Someone gave me these...

Long distance

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time
And I'm running out of things to do to get you off my mind
All I have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face every day

With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard, you're so far

This long distance is killing me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
And it's so hard, you're so far
This long distance is killing me

It's so hard, it's so hard
Where we are,where we are
You're so far, this long distance is killing me

Now the minutes feel like hours and the hours feel like days
While I'm away
You know right now I can't be home

But I'm coming home soon, coming home soon

Can you hear me crying?

There's only so many songs that I can sing to pass the time..

p/s: Geography always making 2 continents look nearer.. strip away the physicality cause love has no boundaries..

Once in a blue moon

I got a little reward, for myself. I called it reward cause Fizah asked me to, although there's actually nothing happened, ain't got any achievement to be rewarded of too. She said, "buy it, so that you'll appreciate your time more." Ok I got what you mean. So I bought it, since it's been forever I didn't wear a watch. Because the battery of each watches I bought before never lived long (ok..blame me who always buying the cheap watch). So, here it is..

Not expensive though, but the most exp watch that I ever buy.

p/s: counting the hours, minutes and seconds to April. I should race against time and make up for lost time.

When you come back down..

Let these speak my heart...

You got to leave me now, you got to go alone
You got to chase a dream, one that's all your own
Before it slips away
When you're flyin' high, take my heart along
I'll be the harmony to every lonely song
That you learn to play
When you're soarin' through the air
I'll be your solid ground
Take every chance you dare
I'll still be there
When you come back down
I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn
And I won't feel your fire
I'll be the other hand that always holds the line
Connectin' in between your sweet heart and mine
I'm strung out on that wire
And I'll be on the other end, To hear you when you call
Angel, you were born to fly, If you get too high
I'll catch you when you fall
I'll catch you when you fall
Your memory's the sunshine every new day brings
I know the sky is calling
Angel, let me help you with your wings

p/s: reach melting point again, like melting snow in the spring.

Am I confident?

So, I change my blog template today. What do you think? Like it? umm.. Never mind cause I love it. Hehe.. Thanks to Anis for giving me the idea. Well, attempting to put my own picture on the header, it's a little bit like what I can call 'promoting' myself. haha.. I think I can build my confidence and self esteem by doing that, don't you think so? Yeah, you know I'm shy (okay, you can throw up now..hehe) but I don't know if I'm still, because many people said that I'd changed. Just wait and see, if I don't remove it in two days, means that I'm confident enough to stand imagining that there are maybe hundreds of people out there now know how the author looks like (I know, I know, it won't reach hundred, just exaggerating that, hehe). Oh wait, I should say a week instead cause tomorrow I'll be going back to hometown, means no internet until next Tuesday. So, we'll see!

Speaking of self esteem, today my confidence was tested. Huh, I don't know suddenly out of nowhere there was a visiting lecturer I reckon, came to my lab. FYI, he's a Germans and he's with other lecturers escorting him. Then one of the lecturer asked me to explain to him about the lab. No, I must tell you this, HE WAS ACTUALLY ASKING FIZAH, BUT GUILTLESSLY, SHE PASSED IT TO ME AND TOLD HIM THAT I'M THE LAB'S LEADER! Gosh! Since when I'm the lab's leader? All faces turned to me now. What should I say? What should I say? Help me!! I really felt like screaming at her, why appointed me! Never mind, I saved the revenge, and with the sweetest smile, I welcomed him, "Hello, this is Genetic Lab. Basically we're doing bla bla bla..." I could feel that I was started blushing, and shaking. Then, I realized that presentation and interview were far more easier than this. After finished with the bla bla bla (I couldn't even know what I've said) the lecturer said to me, 'thanks, you're doing great'. huh.. Thank God. At least he made me felt better after that.

So, I learned one thing today. Experience talking with foreign lecturer and thank God he seemed to understand what I was explaining. The good think about it, that I feel relief because he can understand my English, so my English is not that bad. And I can easily understand him too. I can feel that my confidence was increased by one bar today (mcm IT girl pulak. hehe..)

p/s: Fizah, you owe me one!