A lonely girl

I’m a person with few friends. It’s not that I hate making friends, but I’m definitely not the one that will start a conversation with strangers. Actually I’d like to but every time I intend to, I can feel my cells expressing adrenaline; I feel nervous, dizzy and that sort of things. I’m not sure if that is normal because if it’s not, I’m definitely an abnormal person. So I would rather forget it and stay quiet. I also don’t like to hang out with a group of people because I don’t know how to interrupt a conversation. So I will be the one who are just sitting in the group, being a great listener and making a lot of smiles and laughes. But I don’t like to be alone either cause it is so awkward to eat alone, shop and walk alone. So, all my life there were always be a person that will stick beside me and I call them ‘best friends’ though we never declared. I never asked them to stick with me though, so I always curious about it too.

So, my best friend has got married, alhamdulillah. I am the happiest person on earth because I know that she had been through a lot all these years. So it’s now the time for her to be happy. But I’m starting to feel so lonely now. I live alone in the hostel, my best friend has gone and I don’t have special someone that will check on me every hours. My phone never rings. I don’t get any texts except the ads from the provider. With no internet in my room, I’m officially an absolute lonely girl. It feels so awkward especially when I went to Jusco and do the shopping alone. You know the feeling when you are walking alone you feel like people are staring although they are actually not. Two routines I can not do alone in this world; shopping and having lunch or dinner. Oh, for your record I’m afraid of making decision alone. I need assistance even as simple as to decide which pair of shoes or piece of shirt I should buy. I shall get use to it though. Care to be my shopping and eating partner? ;)