Enjoying weekend!

I just went back from watching Hisss. And guess how was the movie? It was totally suck. So, people, if you are intending to watch Hisss, I'll not recommend it. The plot is a mess and ridiculous, too much blood, the snakes are way too fake, the sound effects could probably causes heart attack and I ended up walking out from the cinema with so many unanswered questions in my head. What a waste of money. Again! Last week, I watched a so-not-worth-watching movie too, which is Cuti-Cuti Cinta. Sorry producer, it was boring and I couldn't help to fall asleep. What a waste! Oh..

Tomorrow would be the last day to enjoy weekend. Resting body and mind in the swimming pool sounds like a perfect plan for tomorrow. I hate when Sunday comes. I wish Saturday would be bottomless. I mean endless. Hehe.. Just remembered the bottomless drink we had at Nandos last Friday night, when having girl's night out. That day, I was really really planning to do window shopping. Damn it. The rm15 blouse was too attractive that I couldn't resist to buy it. So, I would blame Tized for selling at such a low price..haha..

Enough with movies. No more movies. No more shopping too. Cause I want to go home next week for raya haji and meet Qisya. Haven't met my adorable niece for 4 months. She must be grown up and clever now. Qisya, wait for auntie ok! Can't wait to see you!
Some pics of Nur Qisya Arissa..Enjoy! :)

Pantang nampak camera mesti nak posing..

Notty too !!

p/s: Btw, alhamdulillah..I already got one of the clones =)

Journey..

Lately, I was having some problems while working in lab, on getting to clone a gene into a bacteria. It's been months and I can't still figure out what was wrong. Is it the way I handle it or is the enzymes had damaged. But I'm pretty sure that there's nothing wrong with the enzymes. So I need to keep optimizing the conditions of each of the cloning stages. I am really hoping that by the time I have to go working in other lab, soon, I already manage to get the clone and the protein can be produced in soluble form. When thinking of it, of how much time left before I go, I start to panic. What is on my mind is get the clone, get the clone and get the clone. Someone talked to me the last two days and said perhaps when I just eager to achieve the target, I miss the small things. Too small to see but has a huge effect. So, I have to go back to the very basic principle. Look onto the every single details, understand each process and begin the troubleshooting. Now I have started practicing it and I realize that I have learnt more than before.

So is the life. When the world turns down on you, just go back to the nature (fitrah). Every soul will find peace if we remember The One who created the mankind. Pray, honest, be kind to people, give a hand to the weak, respect others and forgive. Yes, it is basic, all of us learned it at school, we have to practice good deeds, but do we actually practice it and do we really know why we were told to do that? For me, if you good with people, it will turn back to you. Let say if I am having problem in cloning for months while other colleague which do exactly the same work can get it in just few weeks, there must be wrong with my past behaviour. Maybe I didn't help people or I didn't forgive someone or didn't apologize for talking behind their back.

Hmm.. So, no more drMicrob cause I feel I do not deserve the title yet as I haven't managed to solve the simplest work in Molecular Biology which is cloning. I'm quite upset because there's much more challenged works waiting once I successfully clone the gene. However, I realize that this is called the journey of life, coloured with problems and challenges. They do make our path difficult, but at the end, the success will be more meaningful =)

Love your supervisor..aha!!

When supervisor is not around, going to place miles away from here for a quite long time, it was kind of happy and free surrounding at first. We were free to go anywhere we liked, for instance lunch at KFC without afraid of he might calling us, going to Jusco to do shopping when there's too much of free time (during the working hours, off course), playing games or updating blog during incubation time (obviously I did that), going to surau and never come back (wirid panjang a.k.a. zzzzzz) and enjoying movies at night without afraid that he might be asking, have you read this journal. It sounds crazy, but well, who wants to miss the once-in-a-year chance of working in the lab without being supervised. Nobody does. And we would dream that this will last longer. But believe me, it actually goes to the other way around! Why would I say that? It is because I feel that working with no supervisor around is like studying for the next year exam. Could you imagine that? There is no incoming force at all. So, now I realize that the every-week-meeting is not arranged for nothing. It really helps us to do experiments faster in order not to feel embarrass when there's no results to be presented to the supervisor. So, don't curse your supervisor when he/she keep pushing you to produce data although that makes you tense and want to jump out of window. But keep believing that without him/her, you won't graduate.

p/s: some friend start feeling bored when our supervisor is going outstation too long ;P

Why English?

What's up Mr blog? Today is weekend, and me, at lab, as always. After settling up everything in the house, laundry and etcetera etcetera, I went to lab with Fizah. Once again, I wish I have a car so that she won't need to wait for me (because I have problem with wake up early in the morning). I love to enjoy weekend in the house but since celcom broadband running hell slow, it induces me to go to the lab. Like I said, lab is my second home, but it seems like it is going to be my first home. And the house, just like a hotel. I go home to change cloth, take a bath, eat dinner and sleep. Hahaha.. I have never imagined that I will ever live this kind of life. But are there any other choices? No. So, be grateful and sacrifice for something that is worth sacrificing for :)

You will be wondering why all my posts are in English right? Sorry that if English will make you annoy to read, so if you annoy, don't read..hehe..because I'll try to consistently write in English. Why? My English is not superb, yes I know that. But I believe that practice make perfect. The last time I wrote an English assay was during the SPM, it was 2004. And imagine, this is 2010, it has been 6 years. I'm afraid that I will lose the skill if I never think of writing again. Actually, I never thought of it at first. Then, one day, the day I created this blog, I found a blog of a friend of my friend. It's in English. I was just amazed by her posts. She's very good in her words and I just envy her. I wanted to be as good as her, I mean good in writing in English. So I think, if I blog in English, my language may be improved one day, I hope so. So, drMicrob was created. But, I can not read her blog anymore. She has restricted her blog to invited readers only :( I'm a little bit upset. I don't want to be her follower either, cause she will read my blog, and it will entirely make me embarrass for my broken English. I just want to read her blog without even she knows about it. Is it possible?

It's me at the lab. Can't find me?

It's a life...

This is the most tiring week. I go to the lab as early as 7.30 in the morning and finish the works at 6.00 pm, and guess what, today I'm totally flat! Imagine working for about 12 hours, where sitting is just impossible because too many of works waiting, is this called a life? Yup, this is called a life of a PhD student..what? I can't imagine living continuously like this for 3 years!! Oh no, why today I just realize how hard the life is for a PhD student? Even I never thought of it when I decided to continue my study last year.

Sometimes, when I keep getting the negative results in experiments, and hearing that my senior's papers are kept rejected, (and including seeing my friends already graduated with masters..oh jelesnya!) it just brings me down. It's like someone has broken my heart to pieces and I don't know where to cry. (mcm putus cinta la pulak kan..hehe). But, when I remember all of Mak and Abah's advices, then I feel stronger. Thanks mom and dad for keep me alive. Calling mom is also a best remedy, though I never told her my story. I believe many of you will tell everything to your mom right, but me, I don't go that way. I don't know why, but I never tell my mom the problems I have faced. It's just I don't want her to worry about me. It's like I want to tell her that her daughter is ok and living her life happily.

So back to the so-called a PhD student's life, tomorrow I have lab's meeting and everyone have to present their progress report for the last 2 weeks. Actually I am in the middle of preparing my presentation slides, then suddenly out of nowhere, the idea comes and I feel like writing, maybe my brain just excited when the eyes are still opened at this moment of 3.00am, that it should be closed normally..I went flat on the bed after dinner just now, too tired, and when I wake up, it's still 12.00am. I'm so grateful that it's not Subuh yet, because I haven't prayed Isya' and prepared my presentation slides. So, till now, my brain and my eyes are still fresh. Well, I'm a night person. I can't remember when was the last time I stayed up at night and studying, it's been a while, maybe during my undergraduate studies. My routine was totally changed after doing postgraduate. Like my life has been reformatted. No more free time in the day, no more gossiping with friends at night and no more staying up late night studying, and I just miss that moment.

It's been quite a long time I haven't practicing study at night though I know that I'm a night person. Maybe because I have to go to lab early in the morning, and if I stay at night I will wake up late and end up with Fizah babbling in the morning or worse she will leave me..haha..that's happened actually. But, lately my supervisor always ask me, "have you read this journal?", and like always my answer is, "not yet Dr." huhu..It's a shame to answer like that actually. You have to be advanced than your supervisor, if you don't want them to think that you are not reading and you are not hardworking. So, if I can't study at night, then I have to use the time wisely during the lab. Maybe reading while waiting the sample to incubate.

So, this is my life, and I have to live it for the coming 3 years. Just hoping for the best, I want to finish up my study after 3 years. Yes, 3 years only, I promise to myself! (though I know it's hard..no..no..don't even think about it! I can do it.)

p/s: start feeling dizzy..haha..good night world..

p/s 2: oh no! I just deleted my last presentation slide unconsciously due to this dizziness..waaa....I really have to sleep right away..huhuhuhu..so stay up is totally a bad idea :(

For the second time..

Seeing someone I missed so much after being a while was really great, it was always like the first time. But the moment of separation was killing me. For the second time, I lost with my tears. While I was thinking back, it's a much much better if I did not see him. But off course I won't let the chance flies. Yes, sometimes when you miss somebody so bad, you do not want see him/her when knowing that he/she will leave you again. Now I know how's Bella hurts when first time Edward decided to leave because he can't protect her from the dangerous bloodsucking enemies. I can feel the same hole had been punched through my chest that is like can never be healed.

I know I should be strong to bear it. I should forget the distance that try to separate us. Be strong, patient, and have a little faith, that's what they always said. The long distance relationship was really challenging, but I know there are always good behind it. It may be better for us this way, we will never know the written fate. So, I wish I could go on with life, though it will take some times for things to go back to normal.

p/s : I really wish I have wings and can fly wherever I wanna go..

haish...

Everything's went so wrong..
I hate this..
I hate to do this..
But I can't help myself..
I'm a human too, easily get hurt..
I was just trying to ignore the pain, by telling myself it was nothing..
and act normal..
then it just make thing worst..
Arrggggggggghhhhh........

I am the real bad friend..

Sorry..