Bittersweet

The sky was clear today. As clear as my mind. I couldn't remember, when was the last time that this feeling struck me. Or maybe I never felt like this before, I'm not sure of it too. But the feeling is very soothing, and I didn't realized that suddenly I smiled for no reason. 

I am a person who is good at recovering from a sudden emotional disturbance. I love that part of me. Even I will become more productive when I'm stress. So I have been thinking a lot recently. I was trying to find the reason of everything that happened. And I feel bittersweet. Somehow I feel like this new life I'm living now is more ample, like running on a very wide spring meadow. And I'm kind of like it. The best part is I can stalk anyone I like without feeling guilty which I haven't done it for years. Plus, thinking about him, missing him and checking on him on facebook (which I do everyday) without him knowing is bittersweet too (though sometimes it hurts).

I have done a lot of thinking about myself too. I realized that sometimes I find it's hard for me to give the right response when people talks to me, so I'd rather keep quiet. Plus, I have lack of facial expression and I know it annoys or most of the time it hurts people. I don't blame my friend who would rather not telling me their stories cause I know they will feel like talking with a stone (yes, I'm stone). I want and I am trying to improve that. I will learn how to give response and appreciate them more. I promise to myself!

So I'm enjoying my single life now. Cause I know I'll never ever experience this life again once I get married one day. Indeed everything's happen for reason cause Allah is the All-Knowing, knower of the unseen and the seen. Till then.